Apparently you make a good broom.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
When are your genitals available?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
