i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
