Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
