I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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