If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
