you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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