Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
