Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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