So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
