My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
