first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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