Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize