I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
