they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
