help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
