This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I cannot find my penis.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
