she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
