SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
