What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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