I heard we made out
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
