just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
