it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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