just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
