you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
