how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I didn't notice because vodka
Everyone says I win the strip club
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
