There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
