I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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