He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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