we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
