We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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