ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
