And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
