if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I got chris browned last night
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Let's paint friendship bongs
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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