You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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