hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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