How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
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