He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
