dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
