It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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