i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The uberlube is also flammable
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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