First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
