can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
