she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
