She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
