Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
