I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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