my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
