and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
