Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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