just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
